Departure from this beautiful corner of Greece is fast approaching.
Tonight is Monday, July 7th and I’m 40. It happened a few days ago, ha been happening for a few weeks. I’m 40? It’s such a strange fact to me.
I’ve always behaved so agelessly. Like, “I don’t care if I’m 30 and they’re 19, I’m going to college.” Stuff like that comes up with me when I‘m ready for it, not by any standard. But now that I’m 40, it suddenly seems to matter, standard seems to agree with what I want.
People say things when you’re younger than them, “Don’t wait until it’s too late.” They say it about a lot of things before you‘re 40, when at last they stop. But then you’re them, and you’re
there, and you understand. Not that it’s too late, well, it’s getting later, but that it’s time to act or forget. That time comes and those things start to matter to you somehow, especially given that time is a factor in many life choices as you’d never realized, in site of their warnings, and you’re not going to live this life forever. It’s running out always. And those experiences that you always thought might come, are slowly shut as a breeze from a window closing it out and you must choose to act or let it close on those experiences in this life. And you must more than ponder.
And there is always the variable of fate, should you choose yes. Because nature is indifferent to whatever it is you want. Nature is indifferent. And to dare to hope, to dare to dream is to risk tragedy. While to want as a tree’s wants for water is, well, it just is.
Tonight is Monday, July 7th and I’m 40. It happened a few days ago, ha been happening for a few weeks. I’m 40? It’s such a strange fact to me.
I’ve always behaved so agelessly. Like, “I don’t care if I’m 30 and they’re 19, I’m going to college.” Stuff like that comes up with me when I‘m ready for it, not by any standard. But now that I’m 40, it suddenly seems to matter, standard seems to agree with what I want.
People say things when you’re younger than them, “Don’t wait until it’s too late.” They say it about a lot of things before you‘re 40, when at last they stop. But then you’re them, and you’re
there, and you understand. Not that it’s too late, well, it’s getting later, but that it’s time to act or forget. That time comes and those things start to matter to you somehow, especially given that time is a factor in many life choices as you’d never realized, in site of their warnings, and you’re not going to live this life forever. It’s running out always. And those experiences that you always thought might come, are slowly shut as a breeze from a window closing it out and you must choose to act or let it close on those experiences in this life. And you must more than ponder.
And there is always the variable of fate, should you choose yes. Because nature is indifferent to whatever it is you want. Nature is indifferent. And to dare to hope, to dare to dream is to risk tragedy. While to want as a tree’s wants for water is, well, it just is.
1 comment:
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Bassemah! We are going to celebrate 40 when you're here. And we're going to talk about all this a lot more...
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