BACK PAIN

I've been in pain for a few days-Fri, Sat, Sun. They call it chronic pain. They don't call post-surgery or even childbirth "chronic." They end eventually. There's sense to the hurt. There's only one potential alternative to chronic back pain or escape, temporary, toxic relief. I keep seeing that river outside the nuclear plant on the Simpsons with deformed, one eyed fish. Emotional and Physical pain are treated the same.
Drugs.

...and the doctor renewed my prescription. AKA: "Vocodin"
I hate this shit but would be hateful mean without it right now.
And the doctor mentioned epidurals, and holding off for 5 years because by then, "great advances will be made."

And when I'm this miserable, it's a very unique kind of misery like a cartoon character. I don't know why cartoon character-because there's a sick humor to it somehow because it's so absurd. Chronic pain is absurd. It's like Wiley Coyote holding a severed hot wire connected to a fine point on my lower lumbar, and repeatedly joining it to see me wince. He's chuckling of course. And sometimes, when it's on, I can't sit because then the electrocution, charge, and pain or what you might imagine bone on bone might feel like, hurts like hell. And it's crazy that nothing is really happening except a nerve that sends a signal of pain. I wish I could just sever the nerve, then the pain and the problem would just go away. But muscles get tense and then I have other problems, besides the pain. Pain is debilitating. It's infuriating. And I hope I'm talking to myself because I do hate to complain. Still, I need to vent.

And when I'm miserably uncomfortable like this I like to splurge, spoil myself. So, even though I got the smoked salmon I was craving Saturday, today I picked up the capers and more smoked salmon. And it was amazing, endulgent. I felt pretty good while I was eating it, when I still had another bite. Yum. That was really good.
Take care of your backs